Concrete Flower
by yannasunflower
Summary: A life of shattered glass meets a life of open wounds. Somehow, beauty ensues. Modern AU. Itasaku.
1. Chapter 1

_welcome to the shitstorm that is my writing! you can call me yanna and i hope you enjoy this at the very least._

* * *

 _It begins with a breath._

 _Chapter 1_

The air was getting warmer. She looked at her mother, whose hands were fluttering nervously, looking for something to do. Her mother was a woman who never sat still, really. But now, there was nothing more for her to do. The boxes had all been packed. The food prepared. Sakura looked around the sunlit room one last time. She had lived in this bedroom all her life. It had remained relatively unchanged despite the turbulence of time and life. The wallpaper was a light lavender. Her bed covers were a pale green, just a couple shades lighter than her eyes. Over the years she had added a couple of plants to the windowsill, books to her white shelves that completely covered one wall, a couple of picture frames to her desk.

She picked up one such picture frame, smiling softly at the faces in it, still round with baby fat, still glowing with childhood dreams.

Now, the early afternoon sunlight drenched the room in a nostalgia she hadn't felt before. Not during all her preparations had she felt so…sad. Leaving had a way of illuminating things, she thought.

"Sakura, we'll be late," her mother said, though she too lingered to look at the room, dark eyes thoughtful. "Let's go."

Sakura blinked slowly and smiled.

"Right." She turned to leave, paused, and turned back around. She picked up the picture frame from her desk and tucked it into the backpack dangling from her fingers. Some things, she thought, were okay to hold on to.

They loaded up the small car her mother used to make deliveries with the last of Sakura's boxes. It always smelled of warm bread and fruit. Sakura leaned her head against the headrest and let her eyes fall shut as the afternoon light fell on her face. Her mother started the car and they were off. Sakura did not open her eyes as they passed the apartment complex. She had said her good byes to those walls.

She went through the list of things she would have to do once the was drive was over. Unpack, clean her new apartment, get all of her supplies together. School started in two days and Sakura had a feeling she would be busy the whole time considering her social butterfly of a roommate. The apartment came fully furnished, so there was no shopping to be done. Groceries, maybe, but she had a sneaking suspicion her mother had packed her enough food to last the month.

She considered her funds: scholarship money, paychecks she had saved from her part-time jobs, and what little her mother had been able to save from the bakery over the years. Her mind drifted from meats she would have to buy to her schoolwork. She had read through all of her textbooks during the vacation. Her workload, she knew, would be heavy. She was expected to drop out for at least a year – most pre-med students like her did. Especially considering she would be entering straight from high school.

Then again, Sakura had never exactly been a quitter. President of the student council for two years, near perfect scores on all of her tests, winner of quite a few essay contests and even an art show once. She smiled at the thought of the art show. She had been a second year, still a little nervous, unsure. Ino had grabbed her pen and signed her name, giving her a withering glare that dared Sakura to complain about it. So Sakura had reluctantly submitted one of her better paintings, just a simple landscape. And she had ended up winning, strangely enough.

She still remembered the surprise on her classmates' faces; quiet student council president Haruno Sakura wasn't really the artsy type, was she? Truth be told, Sakura only ever really felt at peace with a pencil or paintbrush in her hand.

The drive passed quickly; Sakura fell asleep an hour in and woke up two hours later to her mother gently shaking her shoulder.

"Honey, we're here," she murmured. Her soft fingers brushed Sakura's cheek briefly before she got out of the car. The sounds of people chattering and car horns filtered in briefly before she shut the door again.

Sakura raised her head, looking out at the green lawns covered in tables and people holding boxes and backpacks. Yawning, she got out, throwing her backpack on.

"I'm going to go figure out where I'm moving this stuff," she called to her mom, who nodded her assent. Sakura approached a table labelled "Move-In: Freshmen".

"Hi, I need directions to my apartment," she said, offering a small, tentative smile.

The girl behind the table peered at her from behind enormous glasses, nodding.

"Name and ID please," she answered in a rather nasal voice.

"Haruno Sakura," she replied, pulling her ID from her bag and handing it to her. The boy seated next to the girl shuffled through a packet of small envelopes while the girl filled out a paper. The boy handed her a small envelope, labeled with her apartment building and number.

"The big key is to your apartment and your room. The smaller one opens the mailbox you'll see next to the door. You're on the third floor; your roommate hasn't checked in yet so you'll be alone for now."

Sakura nodded, accepting the keys. She knew Ino wasn't there yet; her roommate had been sending her minute by minute updates of the traffic for an hour now.

"Could you point me in the direction?" she asked, smiling again.

The girl answered her this time, pushing a sheet of paper towards her.

"This is just stating you checked in and received your keys; if you lose them, you'll have to pay a fee to get another copy. You don't get any spares. If you get locked out more than three times you'll have to either pay a fee or penalty. Please sign there."

Sakura signed her name carefully, glancing over the paper as well to see what the fees would be. She winced, making a mental note to keep her keys in her bag or where she would see them before leaving.

"You're all set," the boy said, smiling. "Your building is back down this path, turn left, and it's behind that big gray building you'll see over there. Good luck!"

She nodded, making her way back to her mother, who had started unloading the boxes from the car.

"I'm on the third floor," she announced, to which her mother groaned.

"If God had granted me a son, today would have been much easier," she grumbled. Sakura laughed, lifting two of the lighter boxes.

"Come on Mom, it's not that many. Or should I start calling you Grandma?" she teased. Her mother huffed, following her with her own box, muttering about bratty kids.

The trip to the actual building was short and the simple directions were easy enough to follow. Her building was five stories high, a nice apartment building. Plants hung from some of the railings and she could see a few doors already had small signs on them and welcome mats in front of them.

The trek up to the third floor was about as awful as she expected. She was almost embarrassed by how heavily she was breathing until she glanced at her mother, who was puffing and red-face. She laughed, shaking her head and hefting the box to her door.

"Here it is," she murmured, putting her key into the lock. She didn't turn it, not yet. This was it, she thought. She was in college. Moving into her own apartment. Moving on.

"Honey, it's hot out here, can we hurry up and turn on the AC inside," her mother complained. Sakura glanced at her over her shoulder, eyes softening at the older woman struggling to hold her box, pink hair tied back in a bun.

"Sorry, it got kind of stuck," she lied, turning the key easily and opening the door.

The apartment was decently spacious. The furniture was clean and comfortable and there was a terrace for Sakura to put her plants. She picked her room per what she and Ino had agreed on a few weeks before, the first one on the right, and quickly set her boxes down beside her bed. There was a nightstand next to it and a desk pushed against the window on the opposite wall. Her closet was a good size and there were drawers in a corner of the room as well.

All in all, a good start.

Her mother insisted on helping her heave all the boxes up the stairs as well as clean and unpack all of them and staying to greet Ino, who arrived two hours later with her parents.

"Sakura, I think my legs will be complaining about that car ride for years," her roommate declared dramatically as she swept through the door, holding only her purse and a suitcase. Sakura laughed with a shake of her head, greeting her parents, who smiled back and asked general questions about their drive.

Sakura's own mother said her goodbyes just a little bit later.

"Be good, be smart," she said softly as they hugged beside the car. The sun was setting and the crowds on the lawn were beginning to thin as more students settled in and their families left.

"You worked hard to get here so make sure you keep your head on straight," her mother added, giving her a sad smile. "I'm so proud of you."

Sakura swallowed her own tears, nodding and hugging her mother one last time.

"Try not to get too lonely in that apartment; I don't want to come back to an old maid for a mother," she said with what she hoped was a convincing grin.

Her mother scoffed, patting her cheek a little too hard.

"Don't worry about me you brat, I'll be fine," she scolded and Sakura merely laughed.

She waved until her mother's car was out of sight and even then, she stared at the empty parking space for just a little longer. She couldn't remember a time without her mother; it had been just them for so long. For so long, all they'd had was each other. Sakura tried to ignore the voice in her telling her she was abandoning her mother for college. She had insisted Sakura go, after all. She had wanted this.

Sakura trekked back to her building, where Ino was hurrying to shoo her family out the door.

"Be good, Ino. Sakura, watch her and make sure she doesn't do anything too stupid," Ino's mother said.

"Mother!" Ino screeched, an impressive scowl on her face. "I'll be fine. Now can you leave already?"

"Fine fine, we're going. Call me after your classes on Monday, I want to know everything!" her mother called as she walked out, giving Sakura a quick peck on the cheek as she went.

"Make sure you eat well," Ino's father murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of his only child's head.

Ino softened, sagging against her father for just a second. "I'll be fine Dad, don't worry. Text me when you get home."

And then they were gone and Sakura and Ino were left staring at each other in their otherwise empty apartment.

"Well," Sakura began, staring at the unopened boxes in the living room and their half-unpacked kitchen. Ino glanced around before a devilish grin snuck across her face.

"Ice cream for dinner?" she asked.

Sakura smirked. "You know me too well, Ino-pig."

* * *

Sakura dreamt of sirens and broken glass. She woke in a cold sweat before dawn, chest heaving, hair stuck to her cheek.

She watched the sun rise before she got up around seven to make coffee and shower. Beside her, Ino still snored gently on the couch, blonde hair splayed messily against the furniture, mouth open. Sakura took a moment to look at her, so quiet and fresh as she slept. Ino had been her best friend for so long, they called each other sisters. Sakura was the only person to see Ino like this, completely natural, no make up or hair products.

She thought Ino looked best when she was asleep, all herself, all girl and no hardness or loudness to her. Then again, Ino was someone who made everything look fun. Even the dreary things in life.

Sakura started the coffee machine up, timing it so she'd be out of the shower and the coffee would be done just as Ino was waking up, which she knew was exactly eight every morning. The girl had an extensive morning skincare routine that would put actresses and models to shame.

Sakura tried to recall her dream as she washed her hair. She knew, of course, what it was. She had been dreaming the same dream for eight years now. She knew what it meant. It just puzzled her that she had dreamed it that night. It usually only came when she was stressed, or a particular time of the year. Perhaps she would start taking the sleeping pills again, if only to prevent her being tired during her classes in the day.

Sakura was just about to pour her own cup of coffee when Ino's alarm went off on her phone and she groaned into consciousness.

"Is that coffee I smell?" Ino mumbled from the couch, all blankets and messy hair.

"Indeed it is, your cup is ready right here," Sakura answered brightly.

"Forehead, you've never looked so beautiful," Ino sighed.

"You haven't even looked at me," Sakura snorted, placing the mug in Ino's outstretched hand. Ino pried her eyes open, grunting as she struggled to sit up, taking a cautious sip of the steaming beverage before answering.

"Think about it, anyone becomes beautiful the moment they're holding coffee meant for you. Have you ever seen an ugly barista?" Ino insisted, eyes wide and completely serious.

It was ridiculous but Sakura had to admit, she had a point.

"Why should anyone wear makeup or work out when they can just constantly make coffee for people?" Sakura pondered, taking a seat next to Ino.

"We should drop out now and become the owners of a coffee shop, Sakura. We'd have husbands in a year, tops."

"Pig, you're on to something."

"Aren't I always? I am a genius after all."

A few hours later, Ino was dragging Sakura out the door to start what she called their "college experience".

"Sakura, we are going to go to some of these events and we are going to make friends and we are going to _like_ it," she growled through gritted teeth as Sakura ever so slowly tied her shoelaces.

"I don't like how many times you used 'we' in that sentence," she muttered mutinously.

"You're not a language major, get over it."

Sakura heaved a dramatic sigh but offered no more complaints. Their walk to the main campus was enjoyable enough; the weather wasn't quite hot yet and a lot of the new students were heading to the main lawns to start signing up for clubs and making friends. Also, it was a good opportunity to scope out the competition. Medical school wasn't all about friends, after all. It was a cutthroat profession, where only the best of the best survived, never mind made a name for themselves.

There were dozens of tables set up and masses of students wandering around. Club presidents and members eagerly recruited the incoming freshmen, passing out flyers and free snacks with almost manic enthusiasm. Ino took full advantage of the free snacks, having quickly learned the art of being able to completely out-talk the poor club member and walk away with free food and no flyer.

Sakura, if she was being completely honest, was impressed. Ino was nothing if not completely and utterly brutal.

"Ino, we should probably start looking for something we actually want to sign up for," Sakura said after her third free cupcake from the AV Club.

"You're right," Ino answered, biting into her own cupcake and glancing around. "I wish they had organized these tables by like, relevant majors."

Sakura hummed her agreement.

"Well, let's get started then," Ino said and Sakura was being dragged off again, her hand a captive of Ino's. It seemed Ino was always pulling her somewhere, to something new, something big. Life was never boring with the blonde.

The eventually found a few different clubs to check out. Ino didn't so much encourage as she bullied Sakura into signing up for the Art Club.

"You don't have anywhere in the apartment to paint, this is a good opportunity to relieve stress," Ino reasoned, which Sakura had to admit made sense.

They both signed up for the Medical Club, for obvious reasons, and Ino cheerily signed her name for the Debate Club.

"Well, if nothing else, you can just talk their ears off," Sakura joked.

"Shut it, Forehead."

Sakura was readying herself for another jab when she was blindsided by what seemed to be the sun.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto bellowed, tackling her in a hug that could put American football linebackers to shame.

"Air," Sakura wheezed, hearing her bones crack as Naruto squeezed her hard enough to completely rearrange her spinal column.

Naruto set her down quickly, grinning at her sheepishly.

"Sorry, got excited," he laughed, eyes closing as his signature megawatt smile stretched across his face.

"Don't you always," Ino said with a roll of her eyes.

"Be nice, Ino," Naruto huffed, sticking his tongue out at her.

Ino didn't even grace that with a response, merely shooting Sakura her tired why-do-I-bother look.

"I love college, I just signed up for the Ramen Club," Naruto proclaimed, sounding like he had just found the cure for cancer.

"I still can't believe you got into _a_ college, never mind _this_ college," Ino muttered.

Sakura shrugged, having never quite figured it out herself. Naruto was famous for his abysmal grades in high school and didn't have any aim in life other than to own a ramen shop one day. When he had told Sakura he'd been accepted to Konoha University as a business major, she'd been shocked. And it hadn't helped that he'd been mysteriously tight-lipped about the interview they'd given him before his acceptance.

"They recognize genius when they see it," was all he had said with a mischievous smirk.

Sakura had a feeling she'd rather not know. And if he wasn't going to tell her, his longtime friend, he wasn't going to tell anyone.

"How's the apartment? You're in the same building right?" she asked.

Naruto frowned, eyes dimming a little bit.

"Yeah, we're on the second floor. It's empty since Sasuke isn't coming until later today. Not that he'll add much joy to the atmosphere," he added with a roll of his eyes.

Sakura laughed, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

"When has Sasuke's bad attitude ever stopped you from having a good time before?" she asked and Naruto grinned.

"Too true, Sakura-chan. Too true."

The boys had been her classmates since elementary school, when Naruto had punched an ever so bratty Sasuke for making fun of Sakura's hand-me-down sweater on the first day of the fourth grade. Ino had robustly defended the same ugly sweater, saying it distracted from Sakura's gigantic forehead, and given Sasuke what had seemed to be a rather hard pinch.

Sakura still smiled at the memory of that day; a young, grumpy Sasuke, an annoying Naruto, and a loud Ino. It hindsight they hadn't changed much over the years.

"Speaking of idiots, where's Shika and Choji?" Ino wondered, pulling out her phone and typing out a message. "They haven't told me what building they're in yet."

"I should get back to the ramen table, they promised me one more bowl," Naruto said, yawning and stretching his arms up above his head.

"How many have you had?" Sakura asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Five. See you later, Sakura-chan, Ino!"

"The never-ending mystery of 'how many bowls can Naruto consume' continues," Sakura muttered.

"Didn't he eat ten in one sitting before?" Ino asked distractedly as she got into what looked to be a heated argument with her "idiots" as she affectionately called them.

"I think it was-"

"Shikamaru, I hate you," Ino huffed, snapping her phone shut. "I'm going to go find them, I'll catch up with you later."

"Wait I'll-"

But she was already gone, blonde hair swaying as she disappeared into the crowd.

"Come with you," Sakura finished in a whisper. She glanced around at the hordes of people she didn't know, sighing heavily. She could either walk around a little more or go back to the apartment and unpack. The thought of going to an empty apartment was slightly more unappealing than walking around in the growing heat, so she began to move, weaving through the crowds.

She browsed the tables, making sure not to get too close to some of the more eager recruiters. She ended up wandering back toward the Art Club table, her interest piqued by some of the art they were displaying. One piece was a sketch, of two men on a bench. It fascinated her. It was a rather simple piece but their expressions were somehow full of more life than human expressions. There was no background either, just the bench and two men laughing at each other, hair falling in their faces, clothes wrinkled.

"You have a good eye," someone said near her ear and she jumped about a foot in the air.

The man held up his hands in a placating gesture, laughing a rather high pitched laugh.

"Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to scare you, yeah," he snickered.

She gave him a nervous smile and a bow. His nametag said he was a third year.

"Don't worry about all that," he snorted, waving away her formality. "I'm Deidara. That beautiful masterpiece you were just eyeing was done by yours truly."

He grinned at her and she broke eye contact, turning to stare at the sketch again. He was like looking into the sun or Naruto: too bright all at once. Especially with that long, blonde hair and those blue eyes. Could him and the ramen beast be related? Sakura was fairly certain Naruto had never talked about a cousin who went to Konoha University…

"The detail in their faces is amazing," she finally said, hating herself for the way her voice shook. She always seemed nervous here.

"It took a few tries to get right, especially because I was doing it from memory, yeah," Deidara answered with a sigh, coming to stand beside her.

They stood in silence for a few moments before he spoke up again.

"What major are you? This seems to interest you so you should think about joining. Beginners are totally welcome. And I'm not just saying that because I'm the president and am required to recruit more people and you're a pretty girl who likes art, yeah." She looked at him, startled by his forwardness, and he merely winked at her. She almost smiled; he was a harmless flirt, if anything.

"I'm pre-med," Sakura answered shyly. "I signed up earlier but didn't have a chance till now to check the art out."

"Pre-med who likes to draw?" Deidara chuckled. "That's a new one. I could teach you how to sketch like that. What do you usually do?"

Before, he had been all jokes but now that the conversation had turned to art and the club, his demeanor was one of gentle joy, of passion. He _wanted_ to teach her, he _wanted_ her to join and draw with him and the club.

"I'm mostly a paints person. Oils and a little bit of acrylics. I've been wanting to improve on my sketching, though," she admitted, shy once more with the full force of his attention on her.

"Cool," he answered with that bright grin. "Well, you put your number down right? I'll go ahead and text you our meeting times and the directions to our studio. Don't worry about finding your way, I'll make the directions pretty clear. I know first years get confused a lot," he said with another wink, laughing as she blushed.

"Aw man, you're pretty fresh aren't you? This year is gonna be fun. What's your name, by the way?"

"Haruno. Haruno Sakura."

His whole face lit up with what Sakura knew were jokes about her name and pink hair. She nearly rolled her eyes, having heard it all before.

"I'd love to paint that hair someday," is what he said instead of the jokes she'd been expecting. She blinked at him.

"Really, it's a gorgeous color, and matched with your eyes? I hope you never even think about dyeing it, yeah?"

Sakura laughed suddenly, trying to imagine her mother's face if she ever got her hair dyed.

"My mom would kill me," she confided in him.

Deidara looked startled to see her laugh but recovered quickly.

"For good reason," he huffed. "It's lovely, really. Let me paint it some time, yeah?"

He seemed so eager, so happy even at the prospect of being allowed to paint her, that her response was automatic.

"Sure."

She winced as he whooped and wondered what she'd just done to herself.

* * *

Sakura groaned, her arms aching from holding the two shirts up for so long.

"C'mon Ino, just pick," she whined. The two shirts were different styles and colors, so the choice was supposed to be easy. But nothing was easy where Ino and fashion were concerned.

"Okay, hang on, hold the green one closer to you."

It was probably the fifth time Ino had said that in the past twenty minutes and Sakura complied nonetheless, with a heavy sigh.

After a few more seconds, Ino finally said the magic words.

"That one."

"Thank whatever gods exist," Sakura muttered, pulling the shirt on and adjusting it in the mirror in Ino's room.

Ino had somehow gotten wind of a mixer going on that night with all years of students from all different majors. Naruto and Sasuke were going, she had told Sakura, and it was a good chance to make friends with upperclassmen. Sakura had agreed only because she didn't want to be alone in the apartment for so long. Also, she hadn't seen Sasuke in a while so it was also a nice chance to catch up. He only ever answered her texts with the barest of responses, if at all, and was notorious for being incredibly difficult to hang out with.

She pulled on her black boots, which had a small heel, and watched Ino bend over to apply mascara, long blonde hair tied up in a bun. She was dressed in a skin tight top and jeans, unafraid to wear high heels as a first year at her first mixer. Ino wasn't really afraid of risks like that; she'd never been afraid of looking stupid or being embarrassed. She was just her.

She dapped on some lip color as well and turned to smile at Sakura.

"How do I look?" she asked, as always, striking a pose.

"Hideous," Sakura replied without missing a beat.

"Perfect," Ino hummed, capping her colored lip balm and grabbing a jacket. "Let's go."

Sakura felt almost bare standing next to Ino. She wasn't one for heavy make up and had left her long hair down. Just some foundation, mascara, and a little blush was all she really used, or knew how to use. Her top was loose and short-sleeved, one of her lower-necked shirts. Her jeans were comfortably tight and her boots, as Ino said, made the whole outfit just the right amount of dressy.

The walk to the karaoke bar was short and Sakura enjoyed the way the cool night breeze felt on her face. The days only grew hotter and the night air was a relief after spending the day in the sun meeting new people. She felt drained; she hadn't gotten a nap in that day yet, and the heat had lapped at her energy. She wasn't fully up for going to this mixer but she knew being in the apartment alone would keep her awake anyway.

They walked in after Ino confirmed Shikamaru and Naruto were already there waiting for them inside. Sakura hadn't really interacted with Shikamaru a lot since middle school; him and Choji had ended up going to a different high school but were close family friends of Ino's family. The three had been friends since birth basically.

She spotted Naruto almost immediately. He was always easy to find in a crowd. She was unsurprised to find a bowl of ramen in front of him already. Sasuke was scowling next to him, expression lightening just the smallest amount when he spotted Sakura.

"Oi, over here!" he called. She smiled and lead the way, Ino in tow. Naruto gave her a one armed hug, distracted by his ramen, and Sasuke looked about as relieved as he ever did. Shikamaru only looked up when Ino smacked his shoulder, taking a seat next to him so she could berate him for not answer her calls earlier.

"You're an awful texter and I don't know why I call you my friend," were her first words to Sasuke as she took a seat between him and Naruto. It was the only way to keep the two from fighting.

He shrugged.

"I was busy," he said unconvincingly.

"Right," Sakura answered, drawing the word out to make it as sarcastic as possible. "And I'm a brunette."

Sasuke muttered something about her nagging and she rolled her eyes before stealing the water set in front of him.

"That's mine," he informed her.

"Now it's mine," she bit back and he scowled at her, huffing.

"Difficult," he growled, standing to grab another water.

"Stubborn," she shot back with a pleasant smile.

He was back soon with another water, arriving just as Naruto finished his bowl.

"The ramen here is decent but not good, you know? I need to find the good ramen places around here," Naruto hummed thoughtfully. Sakura swore the only things he ever put true thought into were ramen and pranking Sasuke.

"You're going to get fat," Sasuke said as he sat down. Naruto responded by sticking his tongue out at him. Sasuke was preparing to launch his straw at the blond and thereby ensure a full scale war in the poor karaoke bar before Sakura smacked both of them upside the head. Really, she wasn't sure their apartment was going to last the week, never mind the year.

"Your manners leave something to be desired, as always," she growled. The boys muttered mutinously but quieted down.

"So, where are all these upperclassmen Ino thinks she's going to con into taking her on dates and giving her their study notes?" Sakura asked, taking a sip of her water. The bar seemed to only have a few college students so far, though her group had arrived a little early.

Sasuke's expression darkened.

"Of course now that you said that, here come some of them," Sasuke sighed, sounding a thousand years old. Before Sakura could ask about his sour mood, she heard a shriek of delight.

"Well if it isn't baby Sasuke!" a rather familiar voice cried out, rapidly growing closer.

Sasuke groaned, face paling as he faced what seemed to be imminent torture.

Sakura turned to see it was actually Deidara making his way toward their table, leading three other men.

"How I missed that miserable face," he crowed, actually pinching Sasuke's cheeks. He caught Sakura's eyes, smiling widely.

"Well hello, how do you two know each other?" he asked, not letting go of Sasuke's face even has Sasuke growled at him to let go.

"Uh, we went to school together," Sakura answered, thrown off balance. "How do you know him?"

"His brother and I are best friends," Deidara answered, like it was obvious. It made sense though; Sasuke looked as if he had suffered through this torture for a long time.

"How do you two know each other is the better question," someone else said, a tall, _huge_ blue skinned man who smiled at her when she turned to face him.

"Art Club. She was admiring my sketch of you two," Deidara replied promptly. He threw himself into the seat next to her, somehow managing to make it look like he was lounging in a recliner. He was all long loose limbs and easy comfort, especially with that disarming smile of his.

"I'm Kisame," the blue skinned man introduced himself, seating himself across from her. At this point, Ino had grown bored of tormenting Shikamaru, turning to make herself part of the way more interesting conversation that was forming. "I'm a third year, like Deidara."

"Nii-san, why are you here?" Sasuke asked in a whiny voice.

Sakura looked at Naruto, who looked completely unsurprised and not at all thrown off by the sudden strangers at their table. _Nii-san?_

She looked at the man sitting down next to Kisame, dark haired and dark eyed. She had never met Sasuke's older brother, surprisingly enough. They'd never really hung out outside of school, if she was being honest. Sasuke wasn't super social and Sakura was always studying. But he certainly looked like Sasuke, same striking Uchiha coloring and sharp cheekbones. He wore a nice shirt and office pants, looking for all the world like a true adult.

"Hey Itachi," Naruto greeted casually. Sakura glanced at him, surprised but then again, not really. Naruto had a way of forcing himself into people's lives, and him and Sasuke had been bitter rivals and close friends for a long time. Sakura had come in later.

"Deidara, are you going to introduce us to your new friend or are you going to make her do it herself?" Itachi asked evenly, offering Sakura a small smile. She glanced away, his gaze cooling her in a way that was strange and startling. She wasn't sure how to act around these people.

"Haruno. Haruno Sakura. I'm a first year pre-med," she murmured.

Kisame's brow furrowed, mouth turned downward.

"A pre-med signed up for art club?" he asked.

Ino broke in with a laugh. "Sakura loves art."

Everyone's attention, thankfully, turned to the blonde, who quickly introduced herself and Shikamaru. Sakura sighed with relief now that she was out of the spotlight, allowing her to look at Itachi just a little bit more. He was a different breed of attractive than Sasuke. Really, what had their mother taken while pregnant with them? Were all the Uchiha's this beautiful?

No, she thought to herself, not _this_ beautiful. Sasuke was all dark lines and shadows. Itachi had something a little warmer to him, more delicately shaped features. Her fingers itched to draw his eyes and his collarbone. From an artist's standpoint, he would be a fun subject to draw, at the very least.

She tore her gaze away to pay attention to what Ino was saying. The blonde got the conversation going and the older boys ordered drinks later on. The conversation flowed easily from then on, as the bar filled with more students and became louder and rowdier as more drinks were passed around.

"What made you interested in marine biology?" Sakura asked Kisame at one point. Though his size was intimidating, Sakura had just watched him tear up over a video of a puppy with three legs, so she wasn't really sure what she'd been scared of in the first place.

"Okay so," Kisame started. His friends groaned, Deidara throwing an arm around Sakura.

"Don't get him started, please," Deidara begged. Sakura contemplated the most polite way to throw his arm away from her but Kisame did the job for her.

"Deidara, don't touch her with those filthy hands of yours, she's obviously uncomfortable," Kisame snorted.

"Hey!" Deidara protested, though he withdrew his arm. "I'll have you know I take a shower after every f-"

"So what about you Sakura?" Itachi asked loudly, completely covering whatever Deidara had been about to say. Sakura had a feeling she didn't want to know.

"What do you mean?" she asked, trying not to squirm under his dark gaze. It was a piercing stare, though she had a feeling he didn't mean it to be. Nevertheless, it was intimidating, especially considering he was an older, pre-law student.

"Why did you decide to be a doctor?"

The table grew a little quiet, with Ino eyeing her nervously, and Naruto pausing in the middle of his third bowl.

Sakura offered a smile, broader than the rare few she'd given through the night.

"No reason. They make a lot of money," she said cheerily. Itachi eyed her, seeming unconvinced, but Ino quickly started up a new topic and the conversation moved on. Sakura dropped her smile when the attention was off her. She could hear the sirens in her ears and she the lights on her glass of water looked red and blue.

She got up abruptly a few minutes later. It was only ten, but she felt exhausted, too tired to keep talking and interacting, and _breathing_.

"I'm going to head home," she said, blushing under everyone's stare. "It was nice to meet everyone."

"I'm tired too, I'll head out with you," Ino said instantly, standing before Sakura could protest. Ino squeezed her hand as she said her goodbyes.

Sakura smiled uneasily as the group called their goodbyes to her, Deidara promising to text her the next day.

The walk home was cool and Ino was quiet, merely holding Sakura's hand.

She didn't talk until they got back to the apartment.

"You're going to be asked that a lot, probably," she murmured gently.

Sakura nodded, running a hand through her hair.

"I know," she sighed.

That night she dreamt of broken glass and bleeding feet.


	2. Chapter 2

_Look who updated! Wow, this took forever. I'm so sorry. from now on, I'm going to try to keep to a regular schedule, once a week at least. You can expect the new chapters on Mondays from now on. Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed, the response was more than I expected honestly. Please keep reviewing and showing love! And my tumblr is always open for any questions you may have (tumblr on profile page). Also, let me know if there are any glaring errors in this, considering it's 2:30 AM right now and my vision is pretty blurry._

* * *

 _Chapter 2_

Sakura had already been awake for an hour when her alarm went off. She slammed her hand down on it, glaring at the red number that told her it was precisely eight in the morning. She had her first class at ten and she was going to need at least a half hour to find the damn classroom in the maze that was her school.

But first, she lay, staring at the pale sunlight filtering in through the blinds. Tiredness dragged at her bones, nearly convincing her to stay in bed until she died. Her bed was so warm, so comforting.

Groaning, she rolled herself out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen, pouring herself a cup of coffee and swallowing two mouthfuls, ignoring the way the hot liquid scorched her mouth and tongue. Without adding sugar or milk, she made her way to the shower, managing a half smile at the soft sounds of Ino's snoring. She reminded herself not to hum in the shower; waking Ino up sooner than she wanted to be awake was punishable by death. She was not eager to be on the receiving end of her wrath so early in the morning.

After her shower, she sipped at her coffee as she pulled shorts and a simple t-shirt on. She checked her reflection, frowning at the dark circles under her eyes before dabbing some concealer on. She didn't really want to look like a zombie the first day of school, after all.

Double checking that she had her keys, she shut the door behind her an hour later, cursing at how suddenly bright it was outside. The heat of the day was already settling in and she sighed at the prospect of another hot day. Making a mental note to remind Ino to keep the blinds closed, she started down the stairs, careful to avoid falling.

The walk to campus was pleasant enough. The sun was unforgiving on her head and she made a mental note to buy a hat some time that week to spare her poor scalp. She took sips of her cooling coffee, wrinkling her nose at the too-warm drink but still swallowing for the sake of the caffeine. Her sleep had been restless, disturbed all night by tossing and turning. The unfamiliar dark room and new sheets that didn't quite smell like anything yet seemed to be enough to throw off her sleep schedule. Before she knew it, her alarm was going off and she was forced to face her first day of classes.

Once on campus, she hurried to find her class, trying to adopt a somehow nonchalant fast-walk and also attempting to not look like the clueless first year that she really was. Achieving these two things at once turned out to be impossible. Finally, with only 15 minutes to spare until her class, she gave it up and asked a passerby for directions. The girl was friendly enough, pointing out the building – one she had passed three times, of course – and warning her that the stairs in that building were particularly small.

Sakura released a breath of relief when the air conditioning swept over her in the hall. She jogged down a few twisting hallways, thanking the signs that told her which classrooms were down which halls, and nearly wept with relief when she saw her room's numbers.

She was still ten minutes early, so she dropped into an empty seat near the front and took a few minutes to cool down and sip at her water. The lecture room was somehow even cooler than the hall just outside. Soon enough, she had goosebumps, and she thanked Deidara for the tip he'd given her at the karaoke bar.

"Bring a sweater to your classes. Professors like to keep the rooms cold enough to freeze you, yeah. No joke."

She'd been skeptical, considering how hot it was outside and Deidara's apparent penchant for drama, but had grabbed a light sweater on her way out that morning nonetheless. Turns out, Deidara had been right. She made a mental note to thank him as she shrugged the sweater on.

Sakura pulled out her notebook and pen, finally glancing around at her peers as the hall began to fill more steadily. Most had computers out while others fiddled with their phones or just stared ahead blankly. Eyeing the computers, Sakura wondered if they were a better alternative to her own note-taking strategy. She had a laptop back in her apartment and no doubt typing out notes on a computer was quicker, but she learned better when she physically wrote things down. She was also nervous to lug her computer around with her on campus all day. Humming to herself, she began formatting her notes, folding the paper carefully as she kept an eye on the time.

Ten minutes after their class' start time, the professor still hadn't shown up. Sakura shifted in her seat uncomfortably, the restless whispers of the other students growing louder every minute that went by. She was slightly annoyed by her own panic earlier; what was the point of being so early when the professor themselves was going to be late?

Finally, nearly fifteen minutes into the class, their professor strode in. He was a tall man with grey hair that contrasted with his relatively youthful face. Well, it looked youthful from what she could see, anyway. He wore a mask that covered most of it, strangely enough. He took a moment to set up his own battered laptop and begin projecting a rather basic PowerPoint on the white screen before he turned to face them.

"I am Professor Hatake. Please, call me Kakashi. If you have any questions about due dates, test dates, projects, or what have you, consult the syllabus. If you have any questions regarding my policies on late work, consult the syllabus. If you have any questions regarding my policies on missed lectures, consult the syllabus. If, for some reason, you are not intelligent enough to comprehend my simple syllabus, you may go to your TA with these questions. Do not bother me with them, I will ignore the e-mail and I will ignore you."

He smiled at them and Sakura felt the bizarre need to laugh. His voice was clear despite the mask covering his mouth and acting as a barricade between it and the small microphone he had clipped to his shirt.

"This is a relatively simple class. Read the text, _attend_ the lectures," he emphasized, narrowing his eyes. There were a few giggles that faded quickly as he continued.

"You get out what you put in. Now, let's begin."

And so, university began.

* * *

Sakura had been warned that professors in university were unlike high school teachers. They didn't care. They were a no-nonsense, strict lot that weren't going to hold anyone's hand and were definitely not going to make things any easier. She realized that everyone who had told her this, was absolutely right.

Her math teacher was a great bear of a man, with a mane of white hair and broad shoulders.

"Do not come to me for questions unless you've tried every other option," he warned. He had told the class to call him Jiraiya and was giving them a summary of his syllabus. Sakura was quickly coming to learn that professors really loved their syllabus.

"This is university. Which means it's time for you guys to start figuring shit out."

She'd smiled nervously at the small joke. Because she had a feeling it was going to be reality sooner rather than later.

She learned later, in her last lecture for the day, that her professors thus far had been angels compared to what lie ahead for her. While Kakashi and Jiraiya were stern, they had also cracked jokes and helped put their students at ease.

"You first year is a confusing time," Jiraiya had informed them with a grim smile.

"But if you work hard, you'll become a better person from it."

Sakura's chemistry professor, on the other hand, was a demon woman.

When she had swept into the lecture hall, hazel eyes hard and red mouth pursed into a straight line, the class fell silent immediately. Sakura instinctively sat up a little straighter, never taking her eyes off the woman as she began speaking.

"I am Doctor Tsunade. That is how you will refer to me. Not Professor, not Miss Tsunade, and no, I do not accept Doc either. You will call me Doctor or Doctor Tsunade."

She paused, surveying the silent, breathless class for a moment before she continued. Sakura had looked her up, of course. Tsunade was a legend on campus and in hospitals. A renowned cardiac surgeon, she had been the first female Chief of Surgery in the biggest hospital in Japan; her teaching was a side job and somehow the woman still managed to publish research after research every year. Students came from all over the world to learn under her. Sakura had been surprised to see her teaching a first year class, but alumni on the forum Sakura had scrolled through had warned she did it for the sole purpose of cutting down numbers. Tsunade was known for weeding out the weak and she started with first years, the easiest prey on campus.

"Every year, I look for students with potential. Most years, I am disappointed. If I come to remember your name by the end of the semester, you can consider yourself a student with rare potential. If I request you to be put in all my classes by the end of the second semester, your peers can look to you as a rival. And if I personally extend an invitation for you to be one of my TA's by the end of your third year, your peers will see you as a god."

Sakura felt her chest tighten, her breath shorten. Fantasies of her, in a white coat, learning from this legend, being acknowledged by her, filled her head. She nearly didn't catch Tsunade's next words.

"The number of students this has happened to is precisely one," Tsunade said with a feral smile. Her bared teeth glinted in the light. A hunter who knew exactly how to discourage her prey. A collective breath was released by the class and students looked at each other, bewildered, fearful.

"My classes are difficult. Do not email me for faster grading, I barely have time to eat. You brats are my lowest priority class. You're first years, nobodies. The upperclassmen will eat you alive at the first hint of weakness. _I_ will eat you alive. The medical field is for the strongest of the strong, for the ambitious, the smartest, the best. I will not go easy on you because this is your first year of university. I will not go easy on you because you are young. My classes are difficult and it is because they are difficult that your potential, or lack thereof, will be exposed. If you have the determination, my classes will challenge you, they will help you grow, flourish."

Sakura was leaning forward in her seat, mouth slightly open. She could almost eat Tsunade's words, could taste them on her tongue. The woman looked around slowly, eyes hovering ever so briefly on Sakura's face before they moved on.

"Welcome to your life. Do not disappoint me. The lecture will begin now."

* * *

Sakura sat on a bench, filling out her planner carefully, triple checking the four syllabus papers spread across the bench next to her to make sure she had the dates correct. She only had one project that semester, thank whatever gods existed, but she had a crowded schedule of tests and assignments due to make up for it. Her eyes scanned over the required readings, face paling as she mentally calculated just how much she would be reading every week.

"I'm gonna die," she muttered to herself, checking the time on her phone as she closed her planner. Tsunade's class especially had the equivalent of about a book a week, and the readings increased in quantity as the semester went on.

Sakura would be drinking a lot of coffee.

Her phone buzzed with a text from Ino.

 _school is hard and unfair!_

Sakura snorted softly as she typed her message back.

 _It's only the first day, Ino-pig._

Her phone buzzed again, but this time with a text from an unknown number.

 _Art club is TODAY in just 20 MINUTES can't wait for you to meet everyone!_

The text was ended with a superfluous amount of emojis and it wasn't very hard for Sakura to guess who the sender was.

She mulled over her possible responses for a moment before sending back a simple text.

 _Already on my way._

Finding the building and room for art club was somehow easier than for her classes. Of course, Deidara had given her very specific directions and had even drawn her a map the night before on a napkin in that karaoke bar. The building was a little smaller than the others, slightly more run down. The paint on the walls was peeling in some places and there were cobwebs in the corners. The lights were dimmer and the AC didn't seem to work quite as well.

Sakura peeked into other classrooms, seeing what looked like Dance Club practicing in one room and half-erased history notes in another. She guessed this building was where most of the clubs gathered and the classes that weren't sciences or business were held. She wondered briefly at the more run down state of it before realizing she had almost walked past her door.

As she reached out to push it open, it flew open with a _bang_ and Deidara's face was suddenly beaming down at her, blue eyes wide and sparkling.

"You made it, yeah! Did you find it okay?"

Before she could reply, he had whisked her into the classroom, shoving her to the center of the room and throwing his arms out in front of him, fingers spread to gesture to her.

"Everyone, welcome Sakura," he declared triumphantly.

Sakura managed to wave, too dazed to really absorb anyone's greeting.

"Deidara, you go overboard," a deep voice murmured from the door. Sakura turned her head to see Itachi Uchiha lounging in the doorway, shoulder pressed to the frame in a strangely elegant pose. Anyone else would look lazy; the elder Uchiha made it look fashionable.

"Silence, Uchiha," Deidara growled, hands on Sakura's shoulders. "I'm excited and I want everyone to welcome her warmly!"

Sakura frowned at Itachi, confused by his presence. He paid no heed to her, instead choosing to bicker with Deidara quietly as the other club members began to step forward to introduce themselves.

A girl stepped forward first, blood red hair strangely familiar though Sakura couldn't quite place it. Her unvoiced question, however, was answered merely seconds later.

"I'm Uzumaki Karin," she introduced herself, in a much quieter tone than Deidara. Her red glasses glinted in the light. "Welcome to Art Club."

"Uzumaki?" Sakura blurted. Horrified by her lack of manners and tact, she covered her mouth with her hands, green eyes wide.

"I'm guessing you know my idiot cousin?" Karin replied smoothly, paying no heed to Sakura's awkwardness. "Yellow hair and a big, loud mouth?"

"That's the one," Sakura sighed with a roll of her eyes.

"An unfortunate relation," Karin sniffed.

Sakura narrowed her eyes. Karin's chin was lifted, her eyes sharp behind their glasses, thin mouth drawn into a straight line. Her hands were behind her back and she regarded Sakura coolly, eyes dragging up and down Sakura's body until they finally came to rest at her face, no difference in their warmth.

"I'm Vice President," she informed her seriously.

Sakura nodded.

"Thank you," she murmured.

The others introduced themselves, their names and faces blurring by Sakura until nobody was left. She breathed a quiet sigh of relief as the introductions ended and she was allowed to take her seat at last. Itachi settled next to her and she focused on not breathing in too deeply; his cologne or body wash or whatever it was smelled way too good. It was unfair, really. She just wanted to bury her nose in his shirt and inhale.

She flushed, embarrassed by her train of thoughts, attempting to focus on Deidara's speech instead.

"New year, great change!" he claimed, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he did. "You'll observe that Itachi has chosen to grace us with his presence once more; he's just here to observe so if you have any questions, bring them to me."

Sakura turned questioning eyes on Itachi, who smiled effortlessly at her.

"Deidara asks Kisame and I to pose for them sometimes," he informed her, lacing his fingers together and bringing them to the back of his head before leaning back in his chair. Every movement he made was completely _unfair_ , graceful and poised and much too perfect. Sakura felt herself bristle at it, instinctively shying from it.

"I see," she replied curtly. She turned her head back to Deidara, who was writing that day's inspiration on the board. It was a simple word, one that made her stomach churn uncomfortably.

 _Love_.

"I thought I'd start with something easy this year," Deidara said cheerily, placing his marker down and turning to beam at them.

 _Easy?_ Sakura thought, feeling her hands begin to shake and her skin grow clammy.

What the hell did she have to draw about this? Love was foreign to her; any love that didn't include her mother or her friends was practically nonexistent to her. She couldn't have identified romance if it smacked her in the face, something that Ino teased her for mercilessly.

While she panicked, Itachi glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, noting her suddenly pale complexion.

He opened his mouth to say something, interrupted instead by Deidara, who appeared out of nowhere and placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder, somehow understanding her need for comfort.

"Love comes in many forms, yeah?" he said with a smile. "Think about what it is to _you_."

Sakura breathed through her nose, accepting the plain paper and simple pencil from Deidara. She'd nearly forgotten that she'd joined to improve her sketching skills – and to appease Ino. She thought carefully for a few minutes, hands hovering over the paper, tracing imaginary shapes, filling in colors only she could see. Finally, she set the pencil to the paper, beginning her sketch carefully, breathless.

She was unaware of a certain Uchiha's dark eyes on her as she worked, seemingly emotionless even as they watched her intently, not missing a single movement. For lack of something better to do, he observed her, interest piqued by her friendship with his brother and apparent lack of attraction to him – an odd occurrence. He wasn't the boastful type but it was simply a fact: women tended to be attracted to him. Itachi's eyes traced the way her hair fell behind her ear, pink and soft-looking, draped over her shoulder and spilling down her back. Her pale, long legs swung restlessly beneath the table as she worked, mouth moving as she drew, pulling into a concentrated frown or frustrated purse of the lips. Her hands moved slowly but steadily, carefully outlining what looked like a loaf of bread to him. Her fingers were long and slender, grasping the pencil gently and she hummed to herself quietly after a short while. Itachi couldn't tear his eyes away from her.

Years later, he would tell people, _This is when I fell in love_.

Because he did, in that moment. Watching her hands move and her face contort and her body quietly adjust to her mental rhythm, he fell in love.

Sakura remained blissfully unaware, however. She was focused solely on her drawing, suppressing her mounting frustration with it. It was so _average_ , so plain and simple. But it was all she had so she kept working, trying not to growl as she did so.

Half an hour later she leaned back, frowning. It looked off to her and she had no idea why. She wiped at the smudges on her fingers absently, chewing on her lower lip. Deidara appeared in front of her, fingers tracing her drawing as she stretched, taking distant notice of the fact Itachi had not moved from his spot beside her. He didn't look the least inclined to relocate either. Sakura ran a hand through her hair, huffing. She hated being watched as she worked.

"Why the bread?" Deidara asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"My mom's a baker," she explained after a beat. For a moment, she had forgotten why she'd chosen to draw what she had. "Whenever I had a bad day or for my birthdays, she'd make me a loaf of this nut bread I really liked. It always made me feel…happy."

Her words were halting, tongue stuttering over them. Her hands flapped uselessly in front of her as she attempted to explain without really explaining. How could he understand that the bread was merely a small apology, a gentle reminder that her mother loved her, despite the past? How could she describe the way her chest tightened when she ate it, the way it turned to ash in her mouth as she consumed the whole loaf, thanking her mother as she did so? How could she tell him all this and then say, "I stopped liking this bread when I was nine years old." It didn't make any sense, not even to her. But every year she ate it and hugged her mother and loved her tired, weary mother. And every year she told her she couldn't wait to eat it again.

This, she thought, was love. Silent apologies and nearly invisible sacrifices. All things small and quiet and unheard.

Itachi watched her, eyes and face as immovable as ever. Irrationally, Sakura wanted to throw cold water on him, if only to see some kind of change of expression in him.

The exact opposite of Deidara, who was now looking over her work with a critical, expressive eye. The hand that was not tracing her drawing was twisted in his long blonde hair, twirling the ends as he frowned at the drawing.

"Your shadowing," he suddenly said, using one long finger to gesture to the corner of her drawing. "It's off; with a pencil, you don't need to apply a lot of pressure. Let me show you."

He began to draw on his own blank page, explaining all of his steps as he went, eager to teach to an equally eager student. Sakura leaned forward to watch, forgetting Itachi's existence as her entire world became made of art.

When the clock turned four, Sakura rubbed at her eyes wearily. The page in front of her had begun to blur. She couldn't remember the last time she had focused so intently for so long on her drawing. It was Deidara's fault, really. He had essentially rambled the hour away, giving her an entire lecture and completely adjusting her original sketch. Sakura clutched it desperately as she moved to put it in her backpack. It had come out half-decent for once. Her mother's hands still weren't quite right and the bread's proportions were off. But it was a start.

Next to her, Itachi cleared his throat, gently. She stopped herself from gasping, having entirely forgotten he was there.

"You live in the same building as Sasuke, right? Is it alright if I walk with you? I have something I need to drop off to him."

Sakura nodded numbly, shoving her planner into her backpack and standing unsteadily. She tried to ignore the insinuation that he had asked where she lived, that he had thought about her outside their one interaction. Sakura waved a quick goodbye to Deidara, who flashed her a brilliant smile, and she started her trek home. Stepping outside, she was grateful the day was staring to cool down, even marginally. She had drank all her water and wasn't keen on trying not to pass out from heat stroke in front of Uchiha Itachi.

"How'd the first day go?" Itachi asked as they started walking. His hands were tucked into his jeans' pockets, and he walked easily, lightly almost but surely. After failing at coming up with different synonyms for how he walked, she realized he was actually waiting for an answer.

"Oh, um, good. I think," she stammered, cheeks flushing. "I have Tsunade for chemistry so we'll see how that goes."

Itachi let out a low whistle.

"I knew someone my first year who had her class. It was brutal. I think they were close to being hospitalized during finals," he admitted. He ran a hand through his stupidly perfect hair, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Sakura swallowed, forcing herself to turn and _not_ think about his mouth.

"Yeah, she has that reputation," Sakura muttered. Her stomach churned at the thought of the amount of work she would be given. The image of the six page syllabus was burned into her brain, haunting her.

"Good luck," Itachi said. It was genuine, accompanied with a gentle yet real smile and Sakura couldn't help but smile back.

"Thank you," she replied simply.

Their walk was quiet and uneventful, save for their hands bumping together and Sakura awkwardly stuttering about a million apologies. She was gratified to see the tips of Itachi's ears were pink, at least, as he struggled to assure her it was fine.

When they got to her building, she started up the stairs, praying she wouldn't start panting halfway up. They got to the second floor no problem, Sakura sweating minimally and uttering a thousand silent thanks for it.

"Sasuke's is the fourth door down to the left," she informed him, using an arm to point. "I'm a floor above so this is where I leave you."

"Thank you," Itachi answered distractedly. He started down the hall, turning to wave at her.

"I'll see you next week," he called.

Her brow furrowed in confusion and he mimed painting. She laughed suddenly, surprised by the sound even as it escaped her. _Art Club._ Of course.

"See you," she replied, giving him a small wave and even smaller smile in return.

She started up the rest of the stairs to her floor, feeling somehow lighter than before.

* * *

Ino had always had a certain penchant for drama and gossip. Even so, Sakura was unprepared for the rather intense interest Ino attached to her dealings with the elder Uchiha.

"Think about it Sakura!" Ino cried, arms waving emphatically over her head. She was on the floor in front of the couch, the bottle of sake resting on the table. Sakura regarded her from the couch, legs tucked beneath her, waiting patiently for Ino's next stroke of genius. Her cheeks were rosy, probably having to do with the sake she had downed, a precious commodity swiped from her father's liquor cabinet.

"Why would he keep going to Art Club if he isn't even interested in drawing? He's not one to be self-absorbed with his looks, so he can't be constantly modeling. He can't draw, he's busy but still makes time for a useless club," Ino listed the rationale, ticking them off on her fingers as she went. Her voice grew louder with each point, teal eyes wide.

"He's interested in you!" Ino finally concluded with a wave of her hand. "That's gotta be it."

Sakura was shaking her head before Ino even finished her sentence.

"No way, Ino-pig, you're blowing this completely out of proportion," she argued, throwing back another shot of the sake.

"For all we know, it could just be a favor to Deidara or something. Chances are after next week, he'll stop coming," she reasoned. She was sure her words were a little slurred but she didn't care. Itachi had left her shaken and her classes had left her stressed to the point of tears. She avoided her mother's phone calls, choosing instead to drink with Ino and rant. Somehow, the conversation had taken a rather unexpected left turn and Sakura tried desperately to veer it back on track.

"Tsunade is a devil lady," Sakura growled into her cup. Ino burst out laughing.

"Does she have horns?" Ino asked with a hiccup.

Sakura laughed at the image.

"No, but she should," she replied grandly, arms outstretched. "She should be queen of the demons!"

Her declaration was met with peals of laughter from Ino. Sakura giggled with her, both of them starting at a knock at the door.

"Who is that?" Sakura mumbled, staggering to the door. Nothing like standing to make her realize just how drunk she was.

Peering out the small hole, she recognized Naruto and Sasuke, both looking absolutely murderous. Sakura sighed. Those two would really kill her one day.

After some fumbling, she managed to open the door, waving them in quickly.

"Come, come," she slurred. "Join our future failures club."

"Not the right name," Ino frowned. Sakura just blinked at her.

"The hell is the right name then?"

"You're drunk," Sasuke stated bluntly. Naruto looked on the verge of just about dying from laughter.

"Yes, and you're observant Sasuke- _kun_ ," Sakura answered petulantly, drawing out the last part of his abhorred nickname. She enjoyed the way his lips twisted into an expression of disdain, his eyes narrowing.

Naruto sat beside Ino, helping himself to the sake. Sakura sat as well, gesturing to Sasuke to join them. She took another drink, enjoying the burning that made its way through her stomach, right down to her toes. She relished in the fuzziness, in the way her problems seemed so far away just then. What were essays and tests? Who was Tsunade? What did it matter?

She could understand how alcohol made people want to throw their lives away. She wanted to throw her life away. What life was it, anyway?

"A good one," Sasuke said bluntly. Sakura realized belatedly she had said something out loud, though she wasn't sure exactly. Ino lay down, stretching out on the floor and moaning.

"Please, don't give me an existential crisis," she whined. "I'm too drunk for this."

"I'm just saying. You're in school, you have a future, you have a good life," Sasuke defended himself, swiping the bottle to take a drink himself.

Sakura regarded her mug, frowning, inhaling the smell of alcohol and Ino's perfume.

"Bullshit," she finally muttered.

"What?"

"I said," she repeated, enunciating the words clearly. "That's bullshit."

She was met with two blank stares and one confused one in Naruto's case. She continued, grabbing the bottle from Sasuke as she did.

"Achievements don't constitute a good life," she clarified.

"What does?" Sasuke challenged. She snorted, waving her hand in his direction.

"Depends on you," she replied.

"Cop out," Ino sniffed. Sakura glared at her, drinking more. It was growing harder to focus and she struggled to keep talking somewhat coherently.

"It does," she argued. "Think about it. For us, living a good life might be going to college and getting a good job and getting married. For others, it's about having kids. Or traveling the world. Or helping people, I don't know, normal shit you know?"

She never cursed unless she was drunk, and she was definitely drunk. Nonetheless, she plowed forward, enjoying the full attention her friends were giving her.

"But it's not always about achievements or what have you. You need," she floundered for a word helplessly, arms waving emphatically.

"Substance," she finally called out, smiling at her triumph. "Trophies and medals aren't substantial."

"What is?" Naruto asked, face beginning to color as the alcohol settled in.

Sakura took a moment to consider his question, pouring herself another drink as she did so, avoiding Sasuke's dirty look that clearly told her she'd drank enough.

"Tell me when you figure it out," she finally said, swirling the liquid in her cup. Suddenly, she didn't fell much like drinking.

"Because I have no clue."


	3. Chapter 3

_i apologize, once more, for the long absence. life is hard. i hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 _Chapter 3_

Sakura wasn't quite sure what had happened, or how it had, but somehow in the two weeks since classes had started, Deidara had not only figured out where she lived, he'd taken to "dropping by". It wasn't all bad, considering he usually brought food or sweets with him, and once even alcohol, and he'd given Ino such invaluable hair maintenance advice, the blonde swore she was forever in his debt. Dramatic as ever. So, when their doorbell rang on a quiet Saturday afternoon, then, she was not at all surprised. Really, she was just relieved her and Ino were diligent about locking the door so the manic blonde didn't have a chance to just barge in whenever he liked. Which, if she knew her art tutor at all, was something he would definitely do. On a daily basis. She didn't quite understand just why he'd taken such a liking to her; she had minimal artistic talents and she wasn't a supremely interesting person to begin with. She could imagine someone with his energy growing attached to someone more like Ino, but not her. Sakura sighed as the doorbell rang again, followed by insistent banging on her door. She knew from experience that in thirty seconds he would start blowing up her phone. Resigned, she slipped her feet into her slippers before shuffling to the door. Ino poked her head out of her bedroom door, face covered in a blue mask and perfectly plucked eyebrows furrowed.

"What does he want now?" she asked incredulously. Ino had taken the continual assault of his presence on their apartment pretty well, all things considered. Better than Sakura, anyway, who now met him with a certain degree of annoyance whenever he rang their doorbell.

Sakura shrugged somewhat helplessly before unlocking their door and opening it slowly. Ino disappeared into the bathroom to clean her face of the mask. Sakura faced the opening door, sighing as she prepared herself for Deidara's characteristic exuberance. The sun had almost set so the light didn't blind her so much as the sight waiting for her surprised her.

"Uh," she said stupidly, not prepared to be faced with not only Deidara's brilliant smile but also Kisame's huge frame when she opened her door. Grocery bags dangled from Kisame's forearms and he smiled at her with pointed teeth. They were both dressed casually, jeans and t-shirts, Deidara holding a jacket slung over his arm. While Kisame looked about the same as usual, Deidara's silky blonde hair – that he kept perfectly maintained, as Sakura had learned during one of his many lectures – was perfectly styled as to appear not styled at all, thrown up into a ponytail with a few strands falling to frame his angular face. He was the only man Sakura had ever known who sported eyeliner daily and his eyes were rimmed with it now, making the blue of them even brighter. The cheery smile on his face did not waver at her less than enthusiastic greeting. She blinked at them slowly, unable to completely process the image after spending hours scrutinizing Tsunade's textbook. Kisame had never come with Deidara on one of his numerous visits; none of their other friends had come, actually.

"Hey Pinkie," Kisame greeted jovially, like this wasn't an awkward situation and Sakura wasn't dressed in boxers, a huge neon yellow t-shirt from high school, and her fluffy white cat slippers. Basically pajamas at almost five in the afternoon. She ignored the stupid nickname as she realized just what she looked like. A mess. Her hair was a disaster, tied hastily back into a loose bun that was now falling apart. She couldn't remember exactly if she had even brushed it today and she was keenly aware of the fact she hadn't yet showered and her legs were prickly with hair.

"Hello?" she asked more than said. She automatically opened the door wider, allowing them to traipse on in, Deidara immediately flinging himself onto the couch and Kisame setting the groceries down on the counter. Why did he keep buying them groceries? What was all of it for? Could she even fit it all in her kitchen?

"I'm making dinner, remember?" Kisame said, raising an eyebrow. Sakura stared at him blankly because no, she did not remember making any such plans considering she'd hardly talked to Kisame since the karaoke bar, only running into him a couple times on campus. She didn't even have his number. He frowned as the silence stretched on and she remained dumbfounded, suddenly whirling to face Deidara, who was smirking on the couch. Kisame pointed an accusing finger at the blonde.

"You didn't tell her?" he nearly roared, looking completely unsurprised.

"Oops, slipped my mind," Deidara responded breezily. "I also forgot to tell you Itachi, Baby Sasuke, and the blond moron are coming too. Oh, and Sasori said he could swing by as well."

Sakura blinked. "There are some that would argue you're the blond moron," she pointed out dully when she could form words. She derived perhaps too much pleasure from Deidara's indignant sputters, Kisame howling with laughter.

"Kisame is making dinner?" Ino chimed in, finally making her appearance, face clean of any mud mask. She was at least a little more presentable than Sakura, dressed in black leggings and a loose t-shirt. Her smooth hair was pulled tightly into a ponytail and she frowned at the groceries inquisitively. "What's the dish, chef?" she asked, completely ignoring the fact no one had even asked either of their permission to plan a dinner party in their apartment.

"Nothin' too fancy, curry and rice," Kisame said. Ino smiled, pleased. She padded over to take a seat next to the other blond, tucking her feet underneath her knees. "Deidara insisted we bring dessert too, so we brought stuff to make cookies with."

Sakura arched an eyebrow at Deidara, who shrank a little under her gaze. "And we brought ice cream," he offered in a small voice. Sakura narrowed her eyes.

"What kind?"

"Strawberry."

She stared at him for a few minutes more before relaxing, smiling a little bit to show she'd forgiven him. "What time is this supposed to start?" she finally thought to ask, suddenly reminded of her deplorable attire. Really, was she going to have to start looking presentable all the time now? Where exactly did Deidara live that he could drop by so much? It dawned on her that she had completely disregarded the fact that _Itachi_ was coming over, as well as the complete yet frequently mentioned stranger Sasori. He was apparently a business major and also worked for a big security company as an intern. Sakura had yet to meet him but knew that he and Deidara had been friends from middle school before they met Kisame and Itachi in high school. She almost felt like she did know him from how much Deidara mentioned him but he'd never met her and thus, she felt like she should probably change. And maybe shower.

"I told them to come in about an hour, so we have about thirty minutes until Itachi shows up. He's annoyingly early, always," Deidara answered with a lazy roll of his eyes. Ino played on her phone next to him, but Sakura could see her ears metaphorically perking up at the mention of the older Uchiha brother. She wondered if Ino's unrequited crush on Sasuke from their early middle school years had anything to do with her fascination. Or if it was solely because of his interactions with Sakura. He'd kept his word and showed up at Art Club yet again that week and Ino had been positively gleeful, despite the fact nothing of importance had happened between them. Sakura nearly regretted telling her.

Kisame snickered. "You're just mad because you're late to literally everything," the blue-skinned man pointed out. Deidara stuck his tongue out at him, pulling his phone out as it chimed.

"I wasn't late to this," he retorted. His brightened at whatever he read on the screen and he began rapidly typing a response.

"You made me wait for you for fifteen minutes," Kisame deadpanned and Sakura laughed. Deidara stuck his tongue out again and went back to focusing on his phone.

Sakura stretched her arms over her head. "Well, in that case I'm going to shower and get dressed," she informed them. Ino's "good idea" was followed by Kisame's insistence she looked fine and Deidara's even more persistent response to the negative.

Sakura left them to debate her appearance, hopping in the shower where she let the hot water wash away her anxiety for the evening. She hadn't been prepared to host a sudden dinner party. She didn't know Sasori, barely knew Itachi, and Naruto ate enough for three people on a daily basis so she was worried they wouldn't have enough food. Also, why couldn't she make any girl friends? Her and Ino were surrounded by boys who were beginning to make themselves at home in their apartment and lives. Sakura just doubted a girl friend would be quite as tactless as the boys she interacted with daily. And she probably wouldn't eat all their food. Yes, Sakura was really beginning to like the idea of her imaginary female friend.

She stepped out of the shower fifteen minutes later, letting her hair down so she could brush it out. She wrapped a towel around her before she hurried to her room. Using Ino's clothes as a guide, she threw on her own pair of leggings and a large grey shirt with the black design of a cat on it that hung off one shoulder. Her sports bra could be seen but she didn't really care; it wasn't like Sasuke was going to ogle her throughout dinner, after all. Or his attractive older brother for that matter.

She tied her long hair back into a much more neat ponytail before rejoining her friends in her living room. Ino was directing Kisame to the pots and pans he needed and Deidara had already dug into the ice cream, spoon still in his mouth as he texted someone.

"You'll ruin your appetite," Sakura chided as she grabbed her own spoon and took a seat in front of him, scooping a giant chunk of it. "How long until dinner?" she asked around her mouthful.

"About half an hour," Kisame answered. Ino offered up water; it was really the only beverage they had since they had polished off the sake that week, and Deidara shook his head at it.

"Itachi will be bringing drinks," he informed them.

Sakura frowned. "If you guys had bothered to tell us about this dinner, we could've bought some things," she said huffily. She felt bad they were basically paying for an entire dinner for seven people. And also cooking it. Ino nodded along emphatically to her words, glaring remorsefully at the blond lounging on their couch. Deidara chuckled, patting Sakura's head.

"Don't worry about a thing," he reassured her. "You're first years and probably broke; if we didn't feed you, you'd almost starve to death. Just wait until final exams roll around, you'll think of us as godsends."

"Or at the very least, nice people," Kisame amended for him. Ino huffed with laughter at the torn expression of betrayal on Deidara's face at his friend's decidedly less dramatic version. "Really, we just wanted to cook something, and neither of our apartments are viable options considering none of us can clean for shit, so yours was the only option."

Sakura was surprised; she had imagined Itachi as a rather neat person. It was hard to reconcile that image with a messy room belonging to him.

Kisame continued, waving a wooden spoon in the air she didn't even know they owned as he did so. "Itachi is a neat enough person on his own, his room is spotless, but I'm a fucking mess and neither of us have time to clean our disaster of a kitchen. And both Sasori and Deidara are complete slobs so there's no hope there either."

"You're all paired off?" Ino asked, handing Kisame an apron, the only one they owned. A frilly pink one with white bunnies all over it that he put on without so much as a blush, tying it back nonchalantly and grinning his thanks to her. It looked absolutely comical on his huge, buff frame and Sakura had to keep from choking on her ice cream at the sight of it. She grabbed her phone to snap a picture, swallowing her mouthful and cackling. She doubted she could use it as blackmail seeing as he didn't seem to care but it was funny nonetheless.

Deidara beamed down at her, looking at the picture on her phone. "It's good to hear you laugh, yeah," he said softly, almost too softly for her to hear. She blushed, locking her phone once more. She hadn't meant to laugh like that, not so loudly and suddenly. It was awkward and sounded wrong coming from her.

"Yeah, we couldn't find any apartments big enough for the four of us that we could afford so we split into two's," Kisame hummed, completely unaware that his picture had just been taken.

They continued in silence except for Deidara's phone chiming and his indignant cry when Sakura closed the ice cream and put it away. Ten minutes later there was a knock at the door and considering she was currently advising Naruto on what to wear over text message – convincing him he needed to at least wear a clean shirt was much more difficult than it should be – Sakura could bet it was probably Itachi or the mysterious Sasori.

"I'll get it," Ino sang, prancing to the door and flinging it open. "Welcome!"

There stood, actually, both of the men, wearing identical expressions of surprise at being greeted by the perky blonde girl. Deidara stood and cheered, waving them in while Sakura hastily got to her feet to offer some water before remembering that the bags in their hands probably held much better drinks.

"Come in," Deidara called. They entered and Sakura was able to get a look at Sasori for the first time.

He was dressed as casually as Deidara, slim dark jeans and a white t-shirt with clean boots. His red hair fell down his forehead and brushed his eyelashes and Sakura watched as he pushed it back, irritated. He had a thin mouth currently pulled into the most deadpan, yet somehow exasperated look she'd ever seen on someone. She could hear him chiding Deidara about planning a dinner at someone else's house without actually _telling_ them but she paid no attention, gazing at Itachi instead. He was greeting Ino, asking her some polite questions. He was dressed more formally than any of them in a dark blue button up and jeans, but somehow he pulled it off with a sort of nonchalance that was typical of the Uchiha brothers. His dark hair was perfect, of course, and he was overall just so irritatingly gorgeous and covered in a sort of enviable calm confidence that Sakura kind of wanted to punch him in the face.

She turned her attention back to Sasori, with some effort, and plastered a smile on her face.

"I'm Sakura," she introduced herself.

The man turned to observe her with cool, but not unkind eyes. "Sasori," he said with a slight incline of his head. "I'm sorry Deidara did this to you, I've tried to teach him better manners."

"Hey! They're grateful!"

"It's alright," Sakura said, her smile softening into a genuine one at the gentleness of his voice. She didn't even blink as he sucker punched Deidara in the stomach, leaving him wheezing for air and cursing breathlessly at his red-haired roommate. "I just hope Kisame is as good a cook as he says he is."

"Oi!" Kisame shouted, obvious shock in his voice. "I'm a fucking fantastic cook."

"One with a potty mouth," Sakura called back, leading them into her living room. "Naruto and Sasuke will be here any minute." She nearly laughed at how joyful Deidara looked at the mention of Sasuke, who he apparently had enjoyed torturing for years now. She had to admit, it was pretty hilarious to watch. She could see why Itachi had never put an end to it. Someone ruffling Sasuke's feathers like that was a sight to behold.

Itachi placed the grocery bags on the table, pulling out some juices and sodas as well as bottles of sake, which Ino eyed hungrily.

"So, do we want to pretend to be civilized before we eat, or should we just go straight for the alcohol?" Deidara mused, a slim finger pressed to his chin as he seriously contemplated their choices. Itachi rolled his eyes silently, going to sit on the couch. Sakura pointedly avoided his eyes, hating the way they looked through her own. Deidara had apparently gotten over the bodily harm Sasori had inflicted as he looked to his roommate for an answer to their dilemma. Sasori himself sat down on the couch beside Itachi, leaning back and shrugging carelessly.

"Up to our hosts," he murmured, turning to where Ino contemplated the drinks from the small kitchen. Kisame nodded his agreement from behind her. They all turned to her and she frowned with the seriousness of the decision. Sakura nearly smiled.

"Ino?" she asked, deciding to take her lead considering Ino was much more versed in social situations than Sakura.

"Civilized first, at least until we get some food in our stomachs," Ino declared decisively. They all nodded their approval and Sakura reached for a juice, flinching back when her fingers brushed Itachi's.

"Sorry," she mumbled and he shook his head, withdrawing his hand. She hated the way her voice shook.

"It's yours," he said and she nodded her thanks, snatching it up and opening it hastily.

He looked almost concerned and she averted her eyes, hating the way heat was flushing up her neck and spreading to her cheeks. She hadn't meant to have such a visceral reaction to him. From her side, Deidara watched the proceedings with sharp interest, sharing a meaningful look with Sasori, who arched his eyebrow.

"Sakura, what's your major again?" Sasorie asked bluntly.

She blinked at him, lips wrapped around her juice as she drank it and savored the sweetness, not used to the directness of his words. "I'm pre-med," she answered, lowering her juice. Sasori hummed thoughtfully, a water bottle dangling from his fingers.

"Deidara tells me you're a business major," she continued, drinking more of the juice. Sasori nodded and Itachi opened his mouth to speak when suddenly their front door banged open, Sakura cursing as she realized she had forgotten to lock it behind Itachi and Sasori.

"We're here," Naruto bellowed.

"We can see that, idiot," Ino snapped.

Deidara threw Sakura a meaningful look. "Who's the blond idiot again?"

She sighed.

* * *

Kisame, it turned out, was an excellent cook. Sakura nearly moaned with pleasure as she ate the curry and rice. Ino was delighted, asking a million and one questions and promising to cook it for Sakura the next chance they got. Kisame was grinning boastfully, still in his pink apron absolutely nobody had blinked an eye at except Naruto and Sasuke. The younger Uchiha bore Deidara's teasing somewhat more tolerantly now that he had good food in front of him. Sasori began passing around the sake and Sakura threw back a shot of it, relieved. Interacting with so many new people at once meant she was constantly on edge and she was glad for something to dull it. The warmth of it sank into her stomach, spreading to her limbs and she closed her eyes to enjoy it more fully.

The conversation flowed easily, aided by the sake and Deidara's natural friendliness. Once the food was gone, Sakura offered to make the cookies; she would be a disgrace to her mother if she didn't know how to bake and didn't at least offer. Itachi also volunteered to help and with her nerves dulled by the alcohol, she readily agreed. He followed her into the small kitchen while everybody else settled in the living room, having an animated discussion about the newest drama Kisame was watching.

"I'm telling you, he's going to die!" Kisame bellowed, pointing a finger at Sasuke, who rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"It's too early to tell," he argued and Kisame scoffed.

"Maybe for a baby like you," he taunted. Deidara cackled and Sasuke flushed, dark eyes narrowing.

Sakura smiled to herself, pulling out bowls and measuring cups while Itachi washed some of the dishes that had accumulated from dinner. She began measuring out the dry ingredients, humming to herself and letting her mind wander as her hands automatically made a recipe she had memorized a long time ago. She watched as Itachi, now bearing the pink frilly apron much to the amusement of his friends, cleaned the dishes, his eyes narrowed with focus. He looked hilarious, even if Sakura hadn't been a little drunk. Dressed in a bright pink apron and using pastel blue gloves to wash dishes, the scene was ridiculously domestic. He looked up suddenly, eyes meeting hers, and she blinked. Caught.

"I'll buy a new apron," she blurted. His brow furrowed in confusion. She pointed at the one he was wearing. "For next time," she clarified, mentally berating herself for her awkwardness.

"I'll buy one for you guys."

The sudden smile that spread across Itachi's face was startling though still soft. His voice was a low, smooth sound as he chuckled and she smiled back, relaxing a fraction.

"Next time?" he questioned. She paled. Had she been assuming there would even be a next time? Had that been a mistake? Was he going to think she was presumptuous and weird, wanting this eclectic bunch of boys back in her apartment?

"Then you should buy one this week; I think Deidara mentioned making Saturday dinners a regular thing."

Sakura nearly laughed until she registered what he had said.

"You're joking," she whispered in horror. He chuckled again, turning back to the dishes to dry them. He pulled off the gloves and spared her another glance, smiling at the look on her face as she paused her movements over the bowl.

"Not joking," he answered. "You know how he is."

She sighed, pressing the heel of her flour-covered palm to her forehead.

"I should've known," she moaned, moving to grab an egg. She cracked it open carefully, just as her mother had taught her, mixing in the yolk gently before adding the second egg. She wondered briefly if she would make enough for all of them, considering Naruto could and would stuff his face with anything and everything. And Kisame could match him, mouthful for mouthful. Humming, she figured she could eat her ice cream instead of cookies to leave more for everyone else. Nodding decisively, she started to stir the batter, making sure to break apart any huge lumps of flour and baking soda as she did so. Absorbed in her work, she didn't notice that Itachi had drawn closer until her elbow bumped him and she jumped about a foot in the air. He smiled a gentle apology, nodding his head toward the batter.

"Anything you need me to do?" he asked.

Sakura was tempted to say no just to get him out of her kitchen but she nodded instead. She blamed the alcohol for her sudden boldness. She jerked her head to the bag of chocolate chips next to her bowl.

"Could you start pouring some of those in while I mix?"

Itachi nodded, grabbing the bag and cutting it open, hesitating right before he moved to pour it in. His brow furrowed again, as it did whenever he was concentrating on something she was beginning to notice. "How much should I pour?" he asked suddenly in a hushed voice, obviously very concerned about the exact amount of chocolate chips he should be pouring in. Sakura nearly burst out laughing at the solemnity of his expression. Did he take everything so seriously, even baking cookies? For some reason, she could easily imagine him performing every action he took with the same amount of exactness. It was amusing to no end.

"I'll tell you when to stop," she assured him. He nodded and began slowly pouring them in, watching in fascination as she stirred them in slowly, lips pursed. The batter seemed a little runny and she wondered if she should add baking soda or more flour…

"You're not using a recipe," Itachi observed, interrupting her musings. Nodding for him to stop, she hummed.

"My mom is a baker," she answered, sprinkling in just a little more flour and smiling with satisfaction as the batter became nearly perfect. She'd never make cookies like her mom; she didn't have that gift. But what she baked was still pretty damn good. "I helped her out a lot and cookies are pretty popular, of course. I memorized this recipe a while ago." She grabbed a spoon to start putting the batter on the cooking sheet and handed one to Itachi.

"One spoonful," she instructed him and he nodded, seriousness back on his face. She watched him concentrate intently on spooning the same amount as her and watched as he placed it with such precision it was almost laughable. His lips thinned as he focused, nose wrinkled ever so slightly. Sakura felt her lips twitch into a small smile and she went on to put two cooking sheets in the oven with cookies.

She glanced at the clock, despairing at the lost studying time. She was going to have to read basically all day on Sunday to catch up with Tsunade's reading, and then there was all of her other work to do. She sighed, willing the numbers on the microwave to go back.

Sakura turned her head toward the living room, lit up by the lamp on the little side table, where Itachi had seated himself on the floor beside his brother, an absent hand going to ruffle Sasuke's hair. Sasuke glared at him, ducking his head and Itachi grinned, a smile unlike any she had ever seen before on his handsome face. It was impish, nearly childlike, and comical beside Sasuke's frown. Deidara was teasing him, and Sasuke's head whipped around to snarl at him. Ino laughed and joined in, fingers still wrapped around the sake bottle she had been not-so-sneakily taking swigs off. Naruto was arm wrestling Kisame and Sasori looked on, eyes narrowed, calling encouragements to Naruto as he struggled, face turning red. Sakura watched them, wondering if there was any way for her heart to rest in this moment. For her memory to seize and hold it forever.

Naruto's hand was slammed on the table and he whined, rubbing at the back of his hand while Kisame roared with laughter, high-fiving Sasori. Naruto turned to Sakura and she almost laughed at the look of utter defeat on his face. How had she found such dramatic friends?

"Cheer up, there's cookies with your name on it," Sakura called and he brightened instantly, calling for a rematch. Kisame grinned as he accepted the challenge and they went back to it, Naruto's brow furrowed in concentration.

The oven beeped and Sakura checked the cookies, nodding in approval before pulling them out. She carefully placed each on the cooling rack her mother had given her, trying not to fidget as she waited for them to cool enough to eat. Not that it mattered since Naruto, fresh from another defeat, reached around her and popped one in his mouth, grinning at her like his mouth wasn't about to receive first degree burns.

"Perfect as always, Sakura-chan," Naruto hummed around his mouthful, taking four more into his hands. His fingers didn't even turn red and Sakura didn't say anything as he went back to the couch with his treasure. She had long ago learned that questioning Naruto wasn't worth it. She heard exclamations as her friends saw Naruto's handful. She practically dove out of the way as Kisame and Deidara elbowed and kicked their way into the room, both hands outstretched toward the cookie plate. Ino wasn't too far behind, leg outstretched to trip both of them at once. Sakura managed to snag four and hurried away before any of them could tumble into her, handing two each to Sasori and Itachi.

"I have strawberry ice cream if you want any," she told Sasuke as she sat down next to him; he shook his head, taking a drink of the sake before offering her some. She took a grateful swig. She could hear the other three squabbling over how many cookies each got and she shook her head, exchanging an exasperated glance with Sasori.

"Are they always like this?" she asked him. Sasori sighed, sucking a long breath through his nose and exhaling noisily.

"Every day," he muttered, eyes closed.

"These are good," Itachi said suddenly. Sakura glanced over at him, amused by how wide his eyes were. It made him look young, childish.

"I told you," she answered, digging another mouthful of ice cream out of the tub and contemplating it lazily on her spoon. "My mother owns a bakery." She stuck the cold spoonful into her mouth, allowing it to melt a little before swallowing. She hadn't had strawberry ice cream in years. She was surprised Deidara had even remembered her off-hand comment days ago that it was her favorite kind.

She glanced over at him, where he was still trying to take Kisame's last cookie from his outstretched hand. She smiled.

* * *

Sakura was sweating. She could feel it rolling down her back and glittering on her forehead. Her jaw was locked, teeth clenched as she tried to control her breathing. She pursed her lips, brow furrowed as she glared at the cards in her hand.

A few moments later, her expression cleared and with a victorious smile, she slammed her cards down.

"I win!" she crowed, to the utter dismay of every other person in the room. Deidara collapsed to the floor, Kisame swore, Naruto threw his cards down in frustration. Ino was laughing from where she watched on the couch and Sasuke continued frowning at his phone. Sasori merely sighed and Itachi ran a tired hand through his hair, finally beginning to look a little unruffled after drinking and losing to Sakura three times that same night.

Sakura clapped her hands together, falling flat on her back and staring up at the ceiling that seemed to be spinning for whatever reason. That reason being alcohol, probably. She giggled.

Itachi's face appeared in her line of sigh, corners of his mouth quirking, only slightly noticeable.

"You weren't kidding," he remarked. She pushed herself back up, groaning a little. Itachi drew back, closer to her than he was before. She noted the difference vaguely, knowing she'd forget it by morning. Ino snorted, pulling her own phone out as she glanced at her best friend with an oddly proud smirk.

"Sakura is undefeated at card games once you get a little alcohol in her. I'm convinced she was an alcoholic gambler in a past life."

"You don't sound too bitter about it," Kisame grumbled, seeming to slowly forgive Sakura for her final win. Ino shrugged carelessly.

"Got used to it," she hummed. The sounds from the game on Sasuke's phone drew Sakura's eyes to him. Naruto hovered over his shoulder, frowning and crying out every time Sasuke died. Deidara was sprawled on the floor just next to them, long legs flung over Sasori's lap, who was attempting to peruse on of Sakura's textbooks.

"This is all gibberish to me," he admitted slowly, glancing up at her through his red bangs. Sakura tilted her head back, the tips of her hair brushing the floor. It had gotten too long over the summer. Ino would have to cut it soon.

"It's gibberish to me too," she admitted. Kisame chuckled, glancing at the book as well and pulling a face.

"And you're the future of medicine?" he joked. Sakura leveled a glare at him, though she was sure it wasn't all too convincing. A stubborn smile pulled at her lips.

"And you're going to save the whales?" she threw back. Kisame merely shrugged, shit-eating grin still on his face.

"We're going to save the world, kid," he answered, voice oddly gentle. Sakura frowned, not quite understanding where the turn in conversation had come from. Itachi made a noise in his throat and she glanced at him – up at him, since he was still so close their fingers nearly brushed. His closeness was disorienting. She could feel the warmth radiating from his body and in her drunken state she wondered what he would do if she rested her head on his shoulder, just for a moment.

"That's optimistic," the elder Uchiha commented mildly.

"Chances are we won't make any difference," Sasori agreed in his usual monotone voice. Deidara's response was a snore. Kisame opened his mouth to reply but Sakura beat him to it. The room was spinning but there was Itachi's hand, so close to her own. She stared at his nails as she answered, using them to center herself. The words came slowly, haltingly.

"We make a difference every day, don't we? Differences we don't see all the time, but they're there."

Sirens rang in her ears and she let her eyes fall shut, the floor coming up to meet her back seconds after she let her head tilt backwards once more.

"Not all differences are good," she mumbled before she swam away, the world a blur.

* * *

The cure to hangovers, Sakura had learned, was a cup of hot black coffee and a hot shower. She squeezed her damp hair with a towel as she sipped at her coffee, enjoying the way it seemed to seep into her bones. Her headache was fading away as the medicine she took kicked in. Ino had yet to rise and face the day and it would be afternoon soon, so Sakura could only assume she was worse off.

She opened the door to their balcony as quietly as possible, allowing the cool air to rush over her face. The mornings were growing steadily cooler and she nearly shivered in her robe and slippers. She watered her plants carefully, humming as she did so. Sakura looked out at the street behind her apartment building, watching the world slowly wake up on a Sunday morning. Leaning her forearms against the railing, she threaded her fingers through her wet hair, untangling it herself. The smell of her shampoo was fresh and fruity. She took another sip of her coffee as her phone buzzed in her robe's pocket. Sighing, she pulled it out and swiped at the screen to view the text from Ino.

Instead of the plea for water or coffee, as she'd been expecting, there was a picture. Sakura, sprawled on the floor of their living room, mouth open as she slept. And Itachi, looking down at her, hair partially obscuring his face. But it couldn't hide the smile he wore, gentler than any expression she'd seen on him yet.

Blushing furiously, she locked her phone hastily and gulped her coffee down. The sound of cars driving by soothed her and after a few moments she opened her phone again, glaring down at the picture. He probably thought she looked ridiculous, she tried to convince herself. She squeezed her phone, locking it once more. Walked back inside and shut the door.

Huffing, she pulled out her textbooks, ready to make up for the studying time she'd lost the night before. After a few minutes of staring at words that made no sense to her, she unlocked her phone impatiently, staring at the picture.

Ino was never going to let it go.

Her thumb pressed down, the picture saved before she had even fully comprehended what she was doing. The memory of his warmth came back and she sighed, eyes closing as she tried to get a grip.

Her phone buzzed again. This time, Ino had written something.

 _i'll put it in the wedding slideshow, don't worry!_

Sakura growled, tossing her phone on the couch. Damn blonde witch.


End file.
